Slurping Allowed: The Unspoken Rules of Japan, Explained

How do you eat your noodles? With polite silence, or a loud, enthusiastic slurp?
What if I told you that in Japan, slurping your noodles is not rude at all, but a sign of appreciation?

Surprised? You were not alone.

These and many other quietly fascinating cultural nuances were unpacked at a recent panel discussion titled Unspoken Rules of Japan, organised at the Japan Information and Cultural Centre (JICC) at the Embassy of Japan in New Zealand. Moving beyond tourist brochures and Instagram itineraries, the conversation focused on the everyday social cues that shape life in Japan and often leave visitors guessing.

The panel brought together New Zealanders who had lived in Japan for work, study, and cultural exchange. Through personal stories, small missteps, and lessons learnt over time, they offered practical insights to help first-time Kiwi travellers move through Japan with confidence and respect.

Panelists at the discussion. (From left to right) Andreas Birzer, Michael Roberts, Zoe Ditchburn, and Jay Kenyon. Image credits - JICC

The session opened with an audio clip of someone loudly slurping noodles. The room erupted with laughter, curiosity, and a few nervous gasps. After all, many of us grow up being told that making noise while eating is impolite.

Takako Taguchi (Oshima), Director of the Japan Information and Cultural Centre, was quick to reassure the audience.
“It is acceptable to slurp. In fact, it is considered that the noodles are yummy, and it is seen as a mark of a true Tokyo person if he or she slurps while enjoying noodles,” she said.

With that icebreaker out of the way, the discussion naturally moved to dining etiquette, an area where many visitors first realise how different everyday habits can be.

Michael Roberts, who lived in Otaru, Hokkaidō while on the JET Programme from 2011 to 2013, shared a lesson he learnt early on.
“When I shared with my colleague that I ate on my way to work, he told me that it is not okay and that I should have eaten right there,” Roberts said.

Eating while walking, he explained, is generally disliked. Instead, convenience stores often have designated spaces outside where people can stop and eat. The panel agreed that this reflects how public spaces are treated with care. While these expectations are more relaxed in tourist areas, they also exist for practical reasons.
“It is also because of the placement of public trash cans, which are not everywhere and are mostly around these stores,” the panel noted.

It is not just where you eat, but how you handle the small rituals around meals that matter. One such detail is the use of oshibori, the wet hand towels offered in restaurants.
“Please do keep in mind that these towels are only for your hands and not your face,” the panel stressed, drawing laughter from the audience.

Paying for meals can also catch visitors off guard. Jay Kenyon, a master’s student in science working on honey bee genomics and immunity at Te Herenga Waka Victoria University of Wellington, highlighted a difference many Kiwis notice quickly.
“It is not like New Zealand where even restaurants let us split the bill when we pay. In Japan, you pay your part to your group and then pay together as a group. You split the bill within your dining group,” he explained.

Zoe Ditchburn, who lived in Kobe from September 2024 to August 2025 on the Japanese Studies MEXT scholarship, added a practical budgeting reminder.
“If you dine at a restaurant in Japan, you should keep in mind that tax is often not included in the bill and will be added when you pay,” she said.

Roberts shared another dining custom that often surprises newcomers.
“When you are at a gathering, it is normal that you do not pour your own drink. You pour the drink for someone else,” he said.

He also explained how to get the attention of waiting staff.
“To get the staff’s attention, you should call out ‘sumimasen’, which loosely means excuse me or sorry. If available, you can also press the button at restaurants for staff to help you.”

As the conversation widened beyond food, the panel touched on everyday greetings, another area where instinctive Kiwi habits do not always translate.

Kenyon shared an anecdote that resonated with many in the room.
“When you enter stores, you are greeted with ‘irasshaimase’. It is just an organic way to be greeted. It is like an acknowledgement that you have entered the store, and you are not expected to respond,” he said.
“But I had a friend who would respond every single time, and it always confused the shop owners,” he added, to much laughter.

Taking trains and phone calls

Public transport proved to be another space full of unspoken rules.

Th panel highlighted etiquette on trains. Image credit - Leongsan Tung on Pexel

Andreas Birzer, who lived in Kagoshima Prefecture in southern Kyushu from 2013 to 2018, explained that trains and buses are quiet zones.
“I remember travelling on a bus once. A group of tourists looked very excited to see their friends and got loud in greeting. The bus driver shushed them,” he said.

Even small sounds can draw attention. “You will get looks if your music is loud and leaking out of your headphones,” Birzer added.

Now working as a Project Accountant at Te Aho o Te Kura Pounamu, Birzer also stressed being mindful of personal space, particularly during busy commutes. Backpacks are typically worn in front to avoid bumping into others.

Ditchburn echoed this advice. “In crowded trains, it is always advised to hang your bags in front of you so you do not hit people when you turn,” she said.

Kenyon shared a moment from his first week in Japan that drew giggles from the audience.
“I reached the train station during rush hour and jumped into the first carriage I saw. After the train started, I looked around and realised there were only women. That is when it hit me that I was in a women-only carriage, and I panicked. I quickly got off at the next stop,” he said, adding that women-only carriages are clearly marked and often a different colour.

Ditchburn reassured the audience that there is usually a simple solution.
“There are sliding doors between carriages, and you can walk from one to another. You do not have to panic,” she said.

Roberts also highlighted seat etiquette on trains.
“It is good etiquette to offer your seat to someone who might look like they need it more, at least three times,” he said.
“Japanese trains are very quiet, and even talking loudly will attract looks. So be cautious.”

Moderator Kelsi Taplin added another important rule.
“There is also a general rule that there should be no phone calls on trains,” said Taplin, who is the Specialist for Cultural Affairs and JET Programme Coordinator at the Embassy of Japan in New Zealand and spent five years in Yamagata Prefecture on the JET Programme.

Kenyon added a vivid image.
“If someone does have to take an important phone call, I have seen people move to the corner of the carriage and speak quietly, making themselves as small as possible so they do not disturb others,” he said.

Taplin noted that many people simply get off the train, take the call, and catch the next one.
“Trains are frequent, so this is not unusual,” she said.

Kenyon also had a tip for first-time travellers.
“Google Maps will even tell you which carriages are full or air-conditioned. You should keep an eye on it,” he said.

Overall, the advice was simple and reassuring. Follow the signs, observe others, avoid eating on trains, and stand in the correct lines. These small actions go a long way in making travel smooth and stress-free.

The biggest takeaway from the panel was perhaps the most comforting. Japanese people are not judgemental and do not expect visitors to know every nuance. But making a small effort shows respect and makes the experience more enjoyable for everyone.

What Japanese love about NZ

The audience were engaged in the discussion throughout. (From left to right on the dais) - Moderator Kelsi Taplin, Andreas Birzer, Michael Roberts, Zoe Ditchburn, Jay Kenyon, and Takako TAGUCHI (OSHIMA). Image credit - JICC

When Japanese expats in the room were invited to share their experiences of living in New Zealand, the cultural exchange came full circle.

One attendee recalled arriving in New Zealand and being invited to a barbecue, where she was asked to bring a plate.
“I literally took my empty plate with me and did not know it meant bringing a dish to share,” she said, to a laughing audience.

Others spoke warmly about being thanked by passengers when getting off the bus. Takako Taguchi (Oshima) reflected on what she admires about life in New Zealand.
“These little gestures show the empathy and softness in people here. We are very similar to New Zealanders in these ways,” she said, adding that she also admired supermarkets offering free fruit for children.

In the end, the panel was not just about learning Japan’s unspoken rules. It was a reminder that travel is about paying attention to small moments. Whether it is slurping noodles, standing quietly on a train, or learning what “bring a plate” really means, these details help turn visitors into confident, respectful travellers.

And sometimes, they give you a very good story to tell when you get home.

 -Asia Media Centre

Banner Image - Couple in Traditional Kimono at Historic Japanese Gate - GN on Pexel